Recycling this from the archives.  Cause I’m lazy?  Fuck you it’s awesome:

Red Sox Locker Room Inspirational Movie Speech of the Day: Brad Pitt from Inglourious Basterds

“My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I’m putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y’all might’ve heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we’ll be leaving a little earlier. We’re gonna be dropped into the Bronx, dressed as civilians. And once we’re in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin’ guerrilla army, we’re gonna be doin’ one thing and one thing only… killin’ Yankees.

Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I sure as hell didn’t come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of New York and jump out of a fuckin’ air-o-plane to teach the Yankees lessons in humanity. Yankee ain’t got no humanity. They’re the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin’, mass murderin’ maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That’s why any and every every son of a bitch we find wearin’ a Yankee uniform, they’re gonna die.

Now, I’m the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Yankees, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the Yankees won’t not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the Yankee will be sickened by us, and the Yankee will talk about us, and the Yankee will fear us. And when the Yankee closes their eyes at night and they’re tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good? … That’s what I like to hear.

But I got a word of warning for all you would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Yankee scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y’all will git me one hundred Yankee scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Yankees. Or you will die tryin’.”

AL East standings heading into the Red Sox-Yankees series:

1. Red Sox (82-51)

2. Yankees (80-52, 1.5 GB)

Deuces