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Youtube video of the year. Little kid crying his eyes out with hatred of Tom Brady. This is why I thank my lucky stars every day that I’m a Patriots fan in the 21st century. THIS is what it’s been like for everyone else since the start of the millennium. Pure helpless hopeless misery. Daddy can’t do a GOD damned thang about it.
Jon Gruden dropping the S-bomb on live TV
Baby Dancing to Waka Flocka Flame Video of the Day
PAYING FOR COLLEGE
Baby Dancing to Waka Flocka Flame Video of the Day
The first thing I thought when I saw Mo Vaughn in the NESN booth was “HOLY SHIT, THAT’S RICK ROSS!” Then they were like “this is Mo Vaughn” and I was like “oh that makes more sense.” But then I thought about it more, and I’m like 95% sure that Mo Vaughn retired in 2003 and just changed his name to Rick Ross. Proof: Do you think this is a picture of Mo or Rick? Ha. Trick question. BOSS
Edit: Holy shit, look at that sandwich. Imagine the fuckin’ mountain of crap he turned that into.
Alex Rodriguez failing at what Tom Brady does so well.
This is from Bleacher Report’s “Top 50 Ridiculously Funny Athlete Photos.” Chad Ochocinco makes up about a fifth of the list, but of course Brady’s only entry is the top spot. Cause the man is unbeatable at everything he does. He wins the most rings, he puts up the best stats, he marries the hottest chick AND he’s the funniest dude in the whole fuckin sports universe. You think this is UNINTENTIONALLY funny? Hah. Dude is so funny that he does something so funnily that you think it was unintentional, so you’re laughing at him for being the idiot but in reality Tom is laughing at you, cause YOU’RE an idiot! Yeah, fuck you! While Tom fucks Gisele, BITCH! Can’t wait til he steals the show in some blockbuster comedy after he retires in 2025 Mike Tyson Hangover style but like a thousand times more hilariously.
Recycling this from the archives. Cause I’m lazy? Fuck you it’s awesome:
Red Sox Locker Room Inspirational Movie Speech of the Day: Brad Pitt from Inglourious Basterds
“My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I’m putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y’all might’ve heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we’ll be leaving a little earlier. We’re gonna be dropped into the Bronx, dressed as civilians. And once we’re in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin’ guerrilla army, we’re gonna be doin’ one thing and one thing only… killin’ Yankees.
Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I sure as hell didn’t come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of New York and jump out of a fuckin’ air-o-plane to teach the Yankees lessons in humanity. Yankee ain’t got no humanity. They’re the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin’, mass murderin’ maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That’s why any and every every son of a bitch we find wearin’ a Yankee uniform, they’re gonna die.
Now, I’m the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Yankees, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the Yankees won’t not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the Yankee will be sickened by us, and the Yankee will talk about us, and the Yankee will fear us. And when the Yankee closes their eyes at night and they’re tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good? … That’s what I like to hear.
But I got a word of warning for all you would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Yankee scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y’all will git me one hundred Yankee scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Yankees. Or you will die tryin’.”
AL East standings heading into the Red Sox-Yankees series:
1. Red Sox (82-51)
2. Yankees (80-52, 1.5 GB)
The official mascot of Red Sox off days. FUCK THE YANKEES
So apparently today a Greyhound bus that was carrying a bunch of bull semen spilled it all over the highway somewhere in Tennessee. I mean that sounds shocking for a lot of reasons, right, but if you break it down, it’s really not. Okay, Greyhound bus carrying bull jizz. What you’re gonna tell me that’s the weirdest thing you ever heard about on a Greyhound bus? If that bull cum had bull AIDS, then MAYBE I’m a bit surprised.
And Tennessee? You think they’re not used to shit like this happening all the time? I mean the state is basically a bunch of farm animals and Nashville, which is like a redneck hybrid of LA and Las Vegas. Once a week you hear about some shitfaced country star hijacking a tractor and decorating the highway with some demonic farm animal semen cocktail.
No, the big deal about this story, and what everyone is missing, is how fucking funny it would be to be on that bus. Like you’re just jamming out on your iPod to Watch The Throne or Thursday, when you glance out the window and see a whole pile of cars spinning around on a thousand gallons of bull semen like they just hit a banana peel in Mario Kart. I literally cannot think of anything better you could see out of the window of a car, let alone a fucking Greyhound bus. PLEASE let someone have filled this.
Back from my weekend :)
I’m OFFICIALLY going to Boston College! How exciting!
Sadly, in other news, I gave in to the temptations of food in Boston...
lets go eagles
AND SOMETIMES I FUCKING LOVE MY SCHOOL.