Youtube video of the year. Little kid crying his eyes out with hatred of Tom Brady. This is why I thank my lucky stars every day that I’m a Patriots fan in the 21st century. THIS is what it’s been like for everyone else since the start of the millennium. Pure helpless hopeless misery. Daddy can’t do a GOD damned thang about it.
“Thirty-seven points on the best defense in the league, suck my dick.” - Bill Belichick (YES REALLY! Thank you Barstool Sports and The New York Post)
Jon Gruden dropping the S-bomb on live TV
I’d suck Adrian Gonzalez’s dick with Carl Crawford’s mouth.
Peyton Manning is out for Week 1. Oh how the
mighty guy who a bunch of jackasses used to think was better than Tom Brady has fallen. You know how the saying goes: Thinking you’re better than Tom Brady comes before the fall.
Baby Dancing to Waka Flocka Flame Video of the Day
PAYING FOR COLLEGE
Baby Dancing to Waka Flocka Flame Video of the Day
The first thing I thought when I saw Mo Vaughn in the NESN booth was “HOLY SHIT, THAT’S RICK ROSS!” Then they were like “this is Mo Vaughn” and I was like “oh that makes more sense.” But then I thought about it more, and I’m like 95% sure that Mo Vaughn retired in 2003 and just changed his name to Rick Ross. Proof: Do you think this is a picture of Mo or Rick? Ha. Trick question. BOSS
Edit: Holy shit, look at that sandwich. Imagine the fuckin’ mountain of crap he turned that into.
These are Boston College’s uniform combinations for the 2011 football season. Also, #26 is Dominick LeGrande, who will not be at Boston College for the 2011 football season, but that’s not the point.
Grantland.com has a piece up today about how Oregon’s crazy uniforms played maybe the biggest part in turning them into the national power they are today. The fact that Nike’s CEO went there and has donated like a billion dollars for them to build training facilities that make the shit that unparalyzes people and turns them ten feet tall and blue in Avatar look dated is mostly overlooked, but again, not the point.
Boston College should embrace this tactic. The article says that since Oregon doesn’t have the tradition of Penn State, Alabama or Texas, they have to be the “future” of football in order to recruit athletes. Well, BC has a bit of tradition to recruit on (read: Doug Flutie), but if they’re gonna compete with the likes of Florida State, they need to embrace Oregon’s forward-thinking philosophy in a way that is entirely unique to a Jesuit-founded school: embrace the Second Coming.
Is it more blasphemous to use God to attract recruits, or not use God to encourage conversion at a Catholic school? Think about it. But first, here are some of my ideas to build BC into the next BCS power:
- Change the team’s name to the Jesus Eagles and rename the field Wrath of God Stadium
- Deck the stadium, maybe even the whole campus out in goth black mass type shit that’ll scared the fuckin’ hell out of nonbelievers (in BC football)
- Redo the jerseys so that they drip blood. Not look like they drip blood. Actually drip blood.
- Add a hand extending from the clouds chucking lightning bolts at Christian Ponder’s torched carcass to the helmet. That’s about a thousand times better than having no fucking logo at all.
- Translate all the signs and pre-recorded PA announcements in the stadium into Latin. Everything’s more intimidating in Latin.
- Light a giant fire on top of these arches and keep it from ever going out, like a Chestnut Hill version of the Olympic Flame. We’ll call it, “the Flutie Fire.” Whenever the visiting team scores its first touchdown, a life-sized dummy decked out in their uniform will be tossed into the Flutie Fire as they line up to kick the extra point. The flame will roar violently, and after every subsequent score the opposing team’s kicker will shank the point after attempt out of sheer terror.
- Change the names on all the defensive players’ jerseys to read “God Forgives, I Don’t”
- Switch out the water in the Gatorade coolers on the visiting team’s sideline for wine during halftime. After that, we can all sit back and enjoy the hilarious missed tackles, botched kickoffs and mind-boggling turnovers.
- Immediately after the next away game against Notre Dame, steal the Touchdown Jesus, bring him back to Chesnut Hill and roast him in the Flutie Fire. THAT will get the team some more network coverage.
- And if all that still doesn’t bring a BCS bowl appearance to BC, do what the truly successful teams do… cheat, cheat and cheat until the NCAA catches you and buttfucks you so hard you can cheat no more.
PS: If you go to church please remember that this is a joke. And “judge lest ye be judged” and casting the first stone and all that good stuff. Thank you.
Alex Rodriguez failing at what Tom Brady does so well.
This is from Bleacher Report’s “Top 50 Ridiculously Funny Athlete Photos.” Chad Ochocinco makes up about a fifth of the list, but of course Brady’s only entry is the top spot. Cause the man is unbeatable at everything he does. He wins the most rings, he puts up the best stats, he marries the hottest chick AND he’s the funniest dude in the whole fuckin sports universe. You think this is UNINTENTIONALLY funny? Hah. Dude is so funny that he does something so funnily that you think it was unintentional, so you’re laughing at him for being the idiot but in reality Tom is laughing at you, cause YOU’RE an idiot! Yeah, fuck you! While Tom fucks Gisele, BITCH! Can’t wait til he steals the show in some blockbuster comedy after he retires in 2025 Mike Tyson Hangover style but like a thousand times more hilariously.
Recycling this from the archives. Cause I’m lazy? Fuck you it’s awesome:
Red Sox Locker Room Inspirational Movie Speech of the Day: Brad Pitt from Inglourious Basterds
“My name is Lt. Aldo Raine and I’m putting together a special team, and I need me eight soldiers. Eight Jewish-American soldiers. Now, y’all might’ve heard rumors about the armada happening soon. Well, we’ll be leaving a little earlier. We’re gonna be dropped into the Bronx, dressed as civilians. And once we’re in enemy territory, as a bushwhackin’ guerrilla army, we’re gonna be doin’ one thing and one thing only… killin’ Yankees.
Now, I don’t know about y’all, but I sure as hell didn’t come down from the goddamn Smoky Mountains, cross five thousand miles of water, fight my way through half of New York and jump out of a fuckin’ air-o-plane to teach the Yankees lessons in humanity. Yankee ain’t got no humanity. They’re the foot soldiers of a Jew-hatin’, mass murderin’ maniac and they need to be dee-stroyed. That’s why any and every every son of a bitch we find wearin’ a Yankee uniform, they’re gonna die.
Now, I’m the direct descendant of the mountain man Jim Bridger. That means I got a little Injun in me. And our battle plan will be that of an Apache resistance. We will be cruel to the Yankees, and through our cruelty they will know who we are. And they will find the evidence of our cruelty in the disemboweled, dismembered, and disfigured bodies of their brothers we leave behind us. And the Yankees won’t not be able to help themselves but to imagine the cruelty their brothers endured at our hands, and our boot heels, and the edge of our knives. And the Yankee will be sickened by us, and the Yankee will talk about us, and the Yankee will fear us. And when the Yankee closes their eyes at night and they’re tortured by their subconscious for the evil they have done, it will be with thoughts of us they are tortured with. Sound good? … That’s what I like to hear.
But I got a word of warning for all you would-be warriors. When you join my command, you take on debit. A debit you owe me personally. Each and every man under my command owes me one hundred Yankee scalps. And I want my scalps. And all y’all will git me one hundred Yankee scalps, taken from the heads of one hundred dead Yankees. Or you will die tryin’.”
AL East standings heading into the Red Sox-Yankees series:
1. Red Sox (82-51)
2. Yankees (80-52, 1.5 GB)
The official mascot of Red Sox off days. FUCK THE YANKEES
The Heat sold their souls, Lebron would never get a Ring without The Devil's Help!
Back from my weekend :)
I’m OFFICIALLY going to Boston College! How exciting!
Sadly, in other news, I gave in to the temptations of food in Boston...
ON THAT 4-0 SWAG.. WE ARE FAR FROM DONE
lets go eagles
Sometimes I love my school.
AND SOMETIMES I FUCKING LOVE MY SCHOOL.
LMFAO SO I GUESS RIGHT NOW WE'LL GET ANOTHER DOUBLE PLAY