July 21, 2011

Happy 28th birthday to the greatest post game interviewer in sports history, Kellen Winslow Jr.  I guess he’s had a mildly successful NFL career with the Browns and Buccaneers, but honestly I don’t really give a shit cause that’s not why I love him. 

8 years ago, while he still was rockin’ a 1.67 GPA at The U, he had pretty much the most awesome, swagtastic, one-minute meltdown in the history of sports, flipping out after some jackass reporter asked him if he felt bad about breaking a dude’s knee or some pussy shit like that.  Gotta love how he tries to keep from swearing at the start and then completely loses his shit after like 10 seconds. 

What set off the atomic bomb inside Kellen Winslow’s brain?  I’m not in the military, so I can’t pretend to know what goes on inside the mind of a solider.  But my guess is that he remembered he doesn’t give a flying-you-know what about anything except This U (sorry Mom and Dad).  Cause hes’ a fucking solider.  So there’s no way he’s playing by your rules.  Cause he’s a fucking soldier.  And it’s war out there.

AND HE’S A FUCKING SOLDIER

Deuces

July 5, 2011

So I found this while I was researching a project that will eventually be unveiled on Vandy 311 and win me the Nobel Prize in Blogging (or you’ll get two sentences in, decide it’s way too long, and search for GIFs of koalas falling out of trees.  IDK.) 

We need to come up with some kind of award to give to the most insane pro athlete (funny insane not OJ insane) each year to preserve Joakim Noah’s memory after he’s done with basketball.  His weirdness is simply unparalleled in sports right now.  In a word, he’s Rodmanian.  Yeah, Ron Artest makes the weirdest, stupidest headlines, like running into a crowd and punching the wrong dude’s lights out, or changing his name to Meta World Peace or whatever the fuck he thought would grab our attention, but Joakim’s very existence just defines weirdness. 

And this hypothetical award would be named after Rodman if Rodman’s legacy didn’t include five rings and some of the nastiest rebounding numbers of all time.  Noah’s got nothing but his insanity.  Which is probably how he likes it.  But he’s too crazy to know it.  K I’m done

Deuces

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