For those who missed it yesterday, here is part 1.  For those who did not…

My epic project (Part 2):

Pairing each of the 96 dudes from the Bill Simmons’ Book of Basketball pyramid of the greatest NBA players of all time with a famous rapper based on wholly subjective criteria: Part 2 (#61-37):

61. Bob McAdoo – Del The Funkee Homosapien: I’m not gonna lie, I paired these two cause Bob McAdoo is a hilarious name, and “Del The Funkee Homosapien” is the goofiest rapper name I could think of.

60. Nate Archibald – Bushwick Bill: Nate Archibald’s nickname was “Tiny.”  Bushwick Bill is a midget.  That’s it.  I never said every entry was gonna be clever.

59. Robert Parish – Inspectah Deck: “He’s like that dude that’ll sit back and watch you play yourself and all that right? And see you sit there and know you lyin; and he’ll take you to court after that.” This quote comes off the Wu-Tang Clan’s first album, and is of course Method Man describing Inspectah Deck.  But it could also be applied to the quiet Celtics giant, Parish, who was notoriously calm except for that one time he knocked the shit out of Bill Laimbeer (0:17). 

58. Bernard King – Big L: Bernard was one of the most naturally talented players to ever step foot on the hardwood, routinely throwing down jaw-dropping dunks in front of packed MSG crowds during the ‘70’s.  His career was unfortunately cut short by injuries.  Big L, also from New York, was arguably one of the most skilled rappers of all time, routinely spitting out jaw-dropping punch lines in his rhymes.  He was murdered just before he probably would’ve become rap’s next big superstar. 

57. Tommy Heinsohn – Flavor Flav: Tommy was a player and then coach for one of the greatest dynasties in ball history, the Boston Celtics.  Flavor Flav occasionally rapped for one of hip-hop’s greatest dynasties, Public Enemy.  But to most of us C’s fans today, Tommy is the best (and most biased… not a coincidence?) announcer in the whole damn NBA.  And Flavor Flav?  The greatest hypeman of all time… hands down. 

56. Paul Arizin – Pete Nice: Arizin was a 10-time All-Star playing in a pretty much exclusively white league for his whole career.  Pete Nice was one of the first white dudes in hip-hop to earn legit respect, as a member of 3^rd Bass.  Arizin wasn’t quite on the same level as dudes like Cousy and Mikan.  That’s why he’s not one of the Beastie Boy.  He’s not a legend, he’s just Nice. 

55. Dominique Wilkins – Nelly: ‘Nique had a lot of highlight-reel-worthy dunks, and scored shitloads of points.  But he couldn’t play defense and never won jack.  Likewise, Nelly has a ton of hit records, but they’re mindless club bangers and he’s never really put out a verse with any deep meaning or emotion behind it (unless drunk and horny counts as an emotion).  Wilkins’ battles with MJ during the ’87 and ’88 Slam Dunk Contests seem as inconsequential in retrospect as Nelly’s battles with Eminem in 2002 for the top of the charts. 

54. Paul Pierce – The Game: Both came up with a lot of hype and had some initial success.  Then they started just pissing everybody off and hit the skids for awhile.  Eventually, both dudes manned up.  Game reunited with some of the dudes he feuded with for his upcoming album (hopefully to recapture the magic of his debut), and The Truth stuck it out with the C’s until they finally surrounded him with enough talent to win a title.  Also, Pierce got stabbed once and didn’t miss a game.  I’m pretty sure Game was shot at least once a week from the years 1999 through 2002.

53. Dwyane Wade – Redman: D-Wade proved his own worth by leading the Heat to a title in ’06, and Redman did the same when he dropped the classic disc Whut? Thee Album in ’92.  Both dudes desired greater success/fame, so they paired up with a more famous peer (LeBron, Meth), who wasn’t necessarily as focused on winning/making music.  Also, both dudes really suck at spelling.

52. Dennis Johnson – Guru: Two dudes who thrived during the peak of their respective games (DJ in the 80’s NBA, Guru in 90’s hip-hop) as part of legendary teams (DJ with the Celts, Guru with Gang Starr), and never got as much recognition as the other dudes on their squads.  Both died tragically young, and neither from drug use or drunk driving or any stupid shit like that either. 

51. Bill Sharman – Kurtis Blow: Two dudes from way back when.  Sharman pretty much invented the modern 2-guard style, and then dominated with it.  Kurtis Blow was the first rapper to release a steady stream of good shit.  Also keeps the Boston-Celtics-are-to-the-NBA-what-New-York-is-to-hip-hop theme going. 

50. Dolph Schayes – Vanilla Ice: OMG SO MUCH WHITENESS!!!

49. Elvin Hayes – Plies: These two are both cases of guys who had a lot of hype and a lot of potential, but never really justified the hype.  Elvin Hayes’ coach called him a “no good fucking prick” once.  Plies’ voice makes me feel like someone’s pouring diarrhea down my ears.  Not my favorite guys on the list.

48. James Worthy – Big Boi: Big Game James was always content to play a supporting role, despite his prodigious talent.  Whether on MJ’s Tar Heels teams or Magic’s Lakers, Big Game James did what it took to win.  Same deal with Big Boi.  He doesn’t seem bitter that Andre 3000 gets most of the credit for Outkast’s success, he just goes to work and outclasses 90% of the rest of the field with seemingly no effort. 

47. Billy Cunningham – Kool Keith: I’m not gonna lie, I can barely put a face to either of these guys.  I paired them cause they’re the two most fucking lame names of all time. 

46. Hal Greer – Kool G. Rap: If you haven’t done your homework, these names are vaguely familiar at best, right?  Well, both these dudes wrecked shit in the early days.  However, Greer had the misfortune of having to go up against Russell’s Celtics basically his whole career, while Kool G. Rap’s legacy has been somewhat overshadowed by his contemporaries, Rakim (hint hint #2) being the prime example.

45. Dave DeBusschere – Pimp C: Dave was part of those legendary ‘70’s Knicks squads, while Pimp C was part of legendary rap duo UGK.  The premature deaths of both men shocked their respective establishments, and their legacies have continued to grow since.

44. Nate Thurmond – Treach: Bill Simmons calls Thurmond the dude that nobody realizes was as good as he was.  The same can be said for Treach, the leader of Naughty By Nature.  In fact, Eminem said that he gave up rapping for awhile cause he never thought he’d be as good as Treach.  Imagine if Wilt had said that about Nate…

43. Clyde Drexler – Prodigy: Drex was a member of the ’92 Dream Team, made the Finals as part of the ’92 Blazers, and won the Finals with Hakeem on the Rockets in ’95.  Prodigy, as part of one of the best rap duos of all time, Mobb Deep, is still one of the most respected MC’s to emerge from the 90’s.  But Drex is best remembered for getting shit all over by Michael Jordan all the time, while Prodigy’s most lasting legacy is getting cussed out by 2Pac on “Hit ‘Em Up.” 

42. Jason Kidd – Jadakiss: J-Kidd led the Nets to consecutive Finals (where they got mauled), but you could tell he was always more comfortable as the #2 or 3 guy, like in Dallas this year.  Likewise, Jada’s best work came as a member of The LOX, not as a solo artist.  Also, both their names can be abbreviated to Ja-Ki.  Wonder why that hasn’t stuck?

41. Wes Unseld – Big Pun: Two dudes that physically should not have been able to do what they did.  Wes was like 6’6, 275 and was still one of the best centers of his time.  Big Pun was like 5’5, 2000 and could flow faster than a Kenyan doing wind sprints.  2 points for fat guys all around the world!

40. Gary Payton – DMX: Bald, rocking the goatee, and PISSED AS HELL.  Both these dudes are legendary trash talkers, and at their peaks, were among the best in their respective games.  But Payton was only really a star for about 10 years for no apparent reason, and DMX decided to start getting his ass tossed in jail when he got bored of making #1 albums.  Whatever floats your boat guys. 

39. Patrick Ewing – Wyclef Jean: The two best Caribbean-born dudes in their respective fields.  I also think it’s fair to say that neither ever reached the heights that their fans expected when they both first stepped on the scene.  At least Ewing had the brains not to run for president of the country where he was born after not being there for 2 decades or whatever ridiculous amount of time it was.

38. Steve Nash – Drake: Stevie is hands down the best Canadian basketball player ever, and Drake is already the unquestioned greatest Canadian rapper of all time.  Nash gets a lot of shit from some people for not playing good D (even though he’s the best offensive point guard of this generation) while Drake catches flack from some people for being too soft/not pretending to want to kill people.  Some people are fucking stupid. 

37. Dirk Nowitzki – J. Cole: Dirk’s been around awhile, but he always had a rep as a choker or overrated until he won his first title this past spring.  Cole’s had a buzz building around him for awhile, with three mixtapes released, but if his debut album doesn’t blow people’s minds, expect the bust/overrated tag to haunt dude for a long time.  Also, Dirk is without a doubt the best German baller of all time, and guess where Cole was born… Deutschland!  Crazy, right?  Also worth noting: after Dallas won the Finals this year, Bill Simmons called Dirk one of the top 20 players of all time in his grantland.com column.  Guess who #20 in the book was?  Hint: It’s the funniest possible answer. 

200 swag points for whoever made it all the way here.  This will continue to get better as we approach the top.  I double-promise.  Check back (and follow if you haven’t already) for Part 3.

Deuces