August 26, 2011
The Golden Sons of Notre Dame: 2011 Season Run Down — Weeks 9-12

thegoldensons:

Boston College

I know it was you, Fredo.

BC had a tough year in 2010. Their offense was dismal, at best. It was only thanks to a staunch defense that they were able to escape with some victories, only one of which they were able to score more than 26 points. And I think we can expect more of the same from them this year. At this point of the season, the Irish are clicking and BC is still searching for a game plan.

Already plagued with injuries and holes to fill, the Eagles will find themselves near the bottom of the ACC and definitely at the bottom of this one.

Outcome: Irish win big, not afraid to put some extra points on the board late, knowing they need to impress the polls.

MOTHAFUCKA I’LL FUCK YO ASS UP!  YOU AND YOUR WHOLE DELUSIONAL DRUNK ASS COLLEGE!  YOU GONNA PUT UP “EXTRA POINTS” ON LUKE KUECHLY AND THE REST OF THE TOP RANKED RUSHING DEFENSE IN AMERICA?  CHASE RETTIG ISN’T GONNA BE PLAYING HIS FIRST FUCKIN GAME THIS TIME, FELLAS.  COLIN LARMOND’S GONNA BE ON THAT FUCKING FIELD THIS TIME, FELLAS.  OH YOU BETTER GET YOUR SHIT RIGHT AND BRACE YOURSELVES FOR WHEN MONTEL HARRIS COMES INTO YOUR HOUSE AND CLEANS YOUR FUCKING CLOCK.  SWAGGIN’ IN THE END ZONE FOUR FIVE TIMES NO PROBLEM.  ALL. FUCKING. DAY.

MONTEL’S

(Source: thegoldensons)

August 23, 2011
You know what SHOULDN’T be headline news?  When the senior who was your starting quarterback last year is still your starting quarterback.  Fucking Notre Dame.  Indecisive fucks. 

You know what SHOULDN’T be headline news?  When the senior who was your starting quarterback last year is still your starting quarterback.  Fucking Notre Dame.  Indecisive fucks. 

August 18, 2011
So Cam Newton is slated to start Carolina’s second preseason game, after Jimmy Clausen AKA The Schoolboy Bitch AKA Fuckface started the first.  I know what you’re thinking: “Why does a Patriots fan give a flying fuck about a team that went 2-14 last season?”  Well here’s why. 
I love Cam Newton.  He is my favorite non-BC college football player of all time, because his 2010 season was the most amazing I’ve ever seen.  Seriously, dude made my jaw drop every week.  My Saturdays went like this: watch BC, watch Cam, party.  It was fucking beautiful.  Search “Cam Newton top 10” on YouTube.  You will buy his Auburn #2 jersey just like I did. 
Anyway, when he got drafted by Carolina, #1 overall I was proud of my boy.  Then the Clausen problem.  Jimmy Clausen, of course, is the whiny little bitch who used to play QB at Whiny Little Bitch U AKA Notre Dame.  Fuckface was supposed to be the best QB in the NCAA, but uh, that never happened.  Then he was supposed to be a top 10 pick, but uh, that never happened either (suck it Mel Kiper!).  Then he was supposed to be a good rookie QB, but uh, he threw a million picks instead. 
Obviously the Panthers jump on the chance to get Cam (The Schoolboy Bitch was the reason they were picking #1 anyway), but then Cam comes to camp and Jimmy won’t give up the #2 jersey?  Fuck you, Jimmy!  Who the fuck do you think you are?  I bet him and Brady Quinn spent the entire lockout sailing back and forth between their parents’ beach houses in Maryland, bitching about how Cam Newton and Tim Tebow aren’t really better than they are between ripping hits from the bong and calling each other “bro.”  Be warned football recruits.  Taking a scholarship to play at Notre Dame turns you into a whiny bitch who gets cuckolded in the pros by the same guy who won the Heisman the year Daddy promised YOU’d win it.  Fuck Jimmy Clausen the Schoolboy Bitch and fuck Brady Quinn, shame to the Brady name. 
Deuces

So Cam Newton is slated to start Carolina’s second preseason game, after Jimmy Clausen AKA The Schoolboy Bitch AKA Fuckface started the first.  I know what you’re thinking: “Why does a Patriots fan give a flying fuck about a team that went 2-14 last season?”  Well here’s why. 

I love Cam Newton.  He is my favorite non-BC college football player of all time, because his 2010 season was the most amazing I’ve ever seen.  Seriously, dude made my jaw drop every week.  My Saturdays went like this: watch BC, watch Cam, party.  It was fucking beautiful.  Search “Cam Newton top 10” on YouTube.  You will buy his Auburn #2 jersey just like I did. 

Anyway, when he got drafted by Carolina, #1 overall I was proud of my boy.  Then the Clausen problem.  Jimmy Clausen, of course, is the whiny little bitch who used to play QB at Whiny Little Bitch U AKA Notre Dame.  Fuckface was supposed to be the best QB in the NCAA, but uh, that never happened.  Then he was supposed to be a top 10 pick, but uh, that never happened either (suck it Mel Kiper!).  Then he was supposed to be a good rookie QB, but uh, he threw a million picks instead. 

Obviously the Panthers jump on the chance to get Cam (The Schoolboy Bitch was the reason they were picking #1 anyway), but then Cam comes to camp and Jimmy won’t give up the #2 jersey?  Fuck you, Jimmy!  Who the fuck do you think you are?  I bet him and Brady Quinn spent the entire lockout sailing back and forth between their parents’ beach houses in Maryland, bitching about how Cam Newton and Tim Tebow aren’t really better than they are between ripping hits from the bong and calling each other “bro.”  Be warned football recruits.  Taking a scholarship to play at Notre Dame turns you into a whiny bitch who gets cuckolded in the pros by the same guy who won the Heisman the year Daddy promised YOU’d win it.  Fuck Jimmy Clausen the Schoolboy Bitch and fuck Brady Quinn, shame to the Brady name. 

Deuces

August 8, 2011
Brady Quinn’s blog on Grantland.  I laughed so hard I fell on the floor.  Almost. 
http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/1454/just-quinn-brady-the-blog-of-denvers-best-looking-quarterback

Brady Quinn’s blog on Grantland.  I laughed so hard I fell on the floor.  Almost. 

http://www.grantland.com/blog/the-triangle/post/_/id/1454/just-quinn-brady-the-blog-of-denvers-best-looking-quarterback

August 4, 2011

So Notre Dame is once again ranked so high in the preseason NCAA football polls that it sucks my mind’s dick.  Every year, they get ranked in the top 20 before the season and then struggle to qualify for whatever bowl the NCAA invented that year for them to play in (last year, it was a game in Yankee Stadium against Army.  Literally, could there be a better symbol of Notre Dame’s evil?)

It’s crazy.  They get residual good feelings votes based off shit they did decades ago.  They’re the Derek Jeter of football.  JOE MONTANA AIN’T WALKIN’ THRU THAT DOOR, FOLKS.  JEROME BETTIS AIN’T WALKIN’ THRU THAT DOOR. 

Personally, I’m sick of this bullshit.  Out of every Catholic college in America, MINE has the best football team.  So I’m gonna throw down the gauntlet.  If Notre Dame qualifies for a BCS bowl this year (and all they have to do to AUTOMATICALLY get in is finish in the top 8.  Tho they get a cut of the BCS bowl profits even if they don’t get in at all.  WTF?) Boston College will concede that the Cal-Stanford Band Play is the undisputed greatest college football play of all time and stop bringing up Flutie’s Hail Mary in literally every single college football discussion that we throw our asses into. 

But if Notre Dame doesn’t qualify for a BCS bowl, they have to wake up from their fantasy land and change their nickname to the Fighting French.  I know that’s an oxymoron, but it’s no less fucking crazy than calling yourselves the Fighting Irish when you were founded by a bunch of French Friar Tucks. 

I know there’s not a single Notre Dame fan who’d agree to this bet tho.  Because deep down in their black, disfigured, Voldemortian souls, they know that BC is gonna finish with a better record this year AND come into South Bend and kick the fucking shit out of them in front of 100,000 horrified rednecks. 

Deuces (Montel Harris swag, bitches)

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